in the midst of the storm YOU are there...

Hi all,

an update of what's been happening... The international christian union here is putting up a christmas evangelistic concert this saturday. I'm singing in the choir and helping out with the props and backstage, the nights week's gonna be taken up by rehearsals and practices... Was pretty stressed and lost thinking abt it, cos i've got an assessed essay to hand in this week, plus a german exam, plus i gotta prepare for a presentation on friday. Been tiring but i know God will see me through the next 2 weeks by His grace and grace only. If you could, pls pray for the concert this saturday, the skit is kinda still unpolished and there's little time left to prepare. Pls pray for strength, wisdom and guidance for us, that we will be able to rehearse it well, and to put in our best for the Lord. Pray for His will to be done, that we might be able to reach out to the non-Christians in the university, and He will speak to them in His way. Thanks you all :)

Let us continue to depend on Him continually in ALL that we do, and to set our eyes upon Him, trusting that He will work ALL things for good for those who love Him and are called according to Hs purpose. God bless and keep you.

In His love, Pam

P.S. For those who have finished your exams, congrats! and Happy hols :)

Went for two interesting talks this week.

First one was a talk by a Holocaust (is that how you spell it?) survivor. He is a German Jew. Born in German but lives in Britain now. Shared about his experience when WW2 broke out. He was only 7 then and he was taken as a POW. His parents and grandparents died in the war, and he and his 2 siblings were left orphaned. Quite an amazing story, dont know if he's a christian but God certainly protected Him for a reason.

Second talk i attended was by 2 ex-prisoners and a forensic scientist. i'll be working in the prison myself next time thought it was really relevant to me. One was convicted of fraud for 21million pounds, jailed for 3 1/2 years. the other was involved in a kidnapping and murder case, was jailed for life, but out on parole now after 20 years in prison. He was only 20 when he went to jail.
As i listened i wondered if i could actually change anything at all in the prison next time. Or would it just be a job i go through. Wonder if i made the wrong choice, but there's no turning back for me now. I trust the Lord has led me here, and He will led me through it, no matter how tough it will be.

"26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -- and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are..." 1 Corinthians 1:26-28

"Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. " Hebrews 13:3

Choosing the Path

"And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15

We are an affluent nation in comparison to other countries around the world but I doubt we are contented with what we have or where we are at. Not that it is a bad thing but has this quest for greatness hot the better of us. We are always seeking to be first in this and first in that. This has transpired down to our society,when we compare and compete what we have with others. For example, the latest handphone or the latest fashion. Other situations like the comparison and competition for results. Striving for excellence isn't a crime as we should work at everything as if working for the Lord as stated in Col 3:24 but has it over taken our lives and relegated God to 2nd place or does God even has a place in our hearts.

Have we chosen education over God? Serving the god of education? I never thought of studies as a valid excuse to miss service or not doing quiet time. Service only takes up 2 hours out of the 168 hours we have each week. There is value in coming together as a church as stated in Ps 133.

Sometimes we strive so hard and run so fast to create something for ourselves. There is only one safe place to run to and it is into the arms of our God. Matt 6:33 says "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you"

Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. God with a capital G or other gods with the little g.

--- the above was ka-poed from Samson's blog. the actual website is http://ypmrevolution.blogspot.com/ (P.S. thanks for the website amelia) =)

Sounds really exciting, what's up ahead for the YPM camp this year, and what God will do in the lives of the people! i believe God is going to do a revolution for you guys. Have faith, expect and keep praying and watching!

Realise how hard i've been striving to do well here, been working myself mad for essays and lab reports just to get a good grade. And at the end of it, the good grade (i still thank God for it nevertheless) doesnt really bring much fulfillment, it's like air filling an empty vessel. Been stressing myself out too much =/ Becoming self-centered and all. Sigh. Lord need Your refreshing and love once more.. Teach me to serve others and not myself. Teach me to focus on YOU.

Isaiah 40:28-31

28Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
AMEN.

sleepless nights

Have you ever stayed up till the whee hours of the night
When everyone's asleep and all's quiet
And there is no one else but you and your thoughts?
Your body and mind's urging you to rest,
but there are just so many things going on in that mind of yours
A battle raging within.
A losing one i'm fighting.

How often i try use my pathetic reasoning to solve and try figure out everything,
although i do realise it's all going to come to naught...
That in the morning when i wake up
nothing's changed.
When all i could have done was to pray
to come before Him and
surrender everything to Him
and lay my burdens down at His feet...

In the stillness of the night
YOU are there, always.
I cry out to You, and You answer me.

effects of the Fall.... SNOW!

Woke up this morning to blueskies, bright sun and.... SNOW all around! We (the Singaporeans who have never experienced snow before) went around campus taking pretty pictures! Think it's the loviest day so far since ive been here. I do realise how the environment has a drastic effect on my mood, it did lift my spirits :) Thank You for snow Jesus. heh, i hope i'll still be saying that in winter.
Apparently some people had snowfights last night, and some Brits lay on the snow laden grass with just a t-shirt on! heh. Well, i just stayed in my warm room, avoiding the cold outside. Temperature's dropping rapidly now, day temperatures can go close to zero and think night temperatures drop below zero sometimes. But weather today was lovely.

first snow fall...

First signs of a cold winter
approaching...

Came out from german class today, and got a pleasant surprise to find white fluffy stuff falling from the sky. Was a really nice feeling (nice wouldnt do justice to how i felt but cant think of a better word...) All i can say is that i smiled :) My friend was exhilarated and though it was freezing outside, she took off her gloves and tried to 'catch' the falling snow. Think the brits must have thought we were crazy. heh. First time i've actually experienced snow falling from the sky. Rather early for snow (it's only autumn now) i must say...

Been going through a whirlwind of emotions lately. Trying to change my perspective, see how tiny my problems are in wholeness of God's plan, of His work in the nations. When i hear of what God is doing back home, i wish so much i could be involved, i wish i would have the same passion, same vision. But here i am, dwelling upon my inadequacies. Realised how much ive lost my focus... trying to do things and to love on my own strength.
Teach me to love you and to surrender all to you Jesus. Amen.

a broken spirit and a contrite heart

Create in me a clean heart, O God
Renew a right spirit within me
Do not banish me from your presence,
and dont take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me again the joy of your salvation
and make me willing to obey you.
Psalm 51:10-12

Pray for those who are weak that you might strengthen them,
for those who are discouraged you might give them hope
for those who are broken comfort them
for those who are lonely surround them with your love
for those who are anxious grant them peace
for those who are worried grant them faith and trust
for those who fear grant them courage
for those who are tired uplift them with your mighty hand
for those who have sinned forgive them, as you have forgiven me.

I will trust and hold on to You Father, for You are faithful and merciful in all your ways.
Teach me to love, to live, each day for You alone. Amen.

Tiring Tuesday

It's been a tiring day... Fell asleep in 3 out of 4 lectures. =/ Couldnt concentrate and think straight as well. Sighs. Came back mentally and physically exhausted...Not a good start to the week. My brother emailed me, told me about how he's worrying so much about his future, scholarship and all. Brought a smile to my face, thinking about how i was in his position sometime last year (just that he is worrying much earlier than i did!) Oh, and thanks for the 'Interview with God' email you sent me tricia, hope youre getting on well doing Law in NUS. You can be my personal legal adviser if i decide to break my bond next time! heh.

Going for choir practice later tonight (pam can sing??!!!), was thinking i had some time to do some work tonight, but looks like i got to push it forward again... Well, it'll be worth it eventually i guess. It's for a christmas musical put up by the christian union this december. Hope it'll turn out great, and God will bring many people to Him through it.

Yep, boring entry, needed to let something out of my system, writing is one way. Thanks for reading. Hope your week's been going on fine.

Pam

Nottingham games & Maiden flight

It's been one eventful weekend. Tiring, but exciting nevertheless.
Nottingham games on saturday, it's when singaporeans and malaysians from the universities in UK come down to nottingham to compete in sports and games. Sth like an inter-university league/competition. Well, as some of you can guess, i took part in tennis. Thank God for the wonderful weather, although it was really chilly, 1 degrees celsius so says the weatherman. It's been such a long time since i last played a tennis match, think it's been more than 2 years already. Was really nervous and excited. Played really cautiously for the 1st match, but gained more confidence in the 2nd and started hitting the balls harder. Made it to the top 3 for singles but we didnt fight for the placing cos all the 3 of us were from Nottingham! heh, so Notts tennis girls ruled the day ;) And we won for doubles as well! I really enjoy playing doubles, remember those days in SC, all the double screw ups on court, bumping into each other, volleying, and encouraging each other during the match. Met a girl i played against back in secondary school from rgs, i only played against her once (lost, i think) was rather surprised she could recognise me. Helped to empire some of the matches as well, quite enjoyed that as well. Felt like a professional umpire (well, almost la..), cos not many ple knew the rules for tennis... heh. Met some of my tennis rj friends, and a classmate who has been in the same school as me for 12 years. Caught up a bit.

Went for gliding on sunday. For those who are not too sure what gliding's about, it's almost exactly like flying, just that you don't have an engine. So a machine called a 'sky launcher' tows the glider up (like a kite) and you basically use the wind to fly. pretty cool huh. It was all the more exciting for me cos i've always wanted to learn to fly and well, this is the closest i can get to flying. The place where we flew was really windy and COLD. i was wearing 5 layers, plus a scarf, gloves and i still felt cold. Brrr...
I was first on the plane. Put on the over-sized parachute, and strapped in to the aircraft. Instructor briefed me on the flight controls and instruments before we did some ground checks. The rope from the 'sky launcher' was hooked on to the aircraft and we were set to fly! Once the rope was being taken in, we moved forward, slowly, then accelerated, and in 4 seconds were we off the ground at 45 degrees to the ground, nose pointing towards the air! It was like a dream, couldnt believe i was doing this, heh. When we gained about 1200 feet, the rope was released, the instructor levelled the glider and we were free as a bird to fly... It was great weather, blueskies and all, could see till miles away, view from above was amazing. Instructor taught me how to pitch and roll the aircraft (some basic air techniques) and he gave me the controls to try it out. Felt like a computer game of sorts with a joystick in front of me, just that it was real this time. Was pretty cool manoeuvering the glider, though i didnt feel in control of it at all times, thats when the instructor took over. Was up in the air only for about 9 minutes, before we lined up for landing. Landing was quite smooth, air brakes up, and we were down in no time. Back exactly where we took off from. Went for 2 flights in all. Felt a bit nauseous when i came down, heh. Well, that was basically it, after that i just stoned for 5 hours! Waiting for the others to take their turns to fly, was SO sian. Never felt so bored in my life. heh. So was an extreme of adrenaline for those 20 minutes in the air, and complete sianness in the next 5 hours or so. Bleh.

Another week of school, not entirely looking forward to it, i've lots of work to catch up on and essays to write as well =/ Getting all worried and stressed up again, but i'm gonna trust the Lord and take things one step at a time.

Take care friends, and have a blessed week ahead.
Pam :)

pam thinks about thinkin...

Sometimes i wonder if it's better
Not to think
Or to think too much...

It doesn't really matter once i'm asleep,
my mind rests for the night...
till i get up at least.

10 weeks and going...

Hi all,

havent really had a substantial update for some time... Been busy rushing a lab report that will contribute to my first year grade. So was kinda stressed up and kan-chiong over it, esp since it's my first report and I didnt know how to go about writing it. They dont really give instructions how to do it, but expect you to do your own research. Been so used to being spoon-fed back in sgp, not entirely used to working independantly, but guess we all learn... Spent 4 entire nights working on it! With God's grace, strength and help, i churned out a 3000 word report! Not anywhere near a well-written report but im just relieved that i managed to get it done. Felt like a load off my chest when i handed it up today.
Well, went to town to watch a Shakespeare play entitled "The Tempest". Didn't really catch on to the plot really well cos they were talking Shakespeare. duh. heh. But the acting and special effects were good, and it was pretty entertaining on the whole. Think it's my first Shakespeare play I've watched in my entire life. whee. Had to rush back for german class, but i miscalculated the time, so i couldnt make it back in time. ie. I pon-tanged German class!!! For those who know me, that's really a rarity. heh. Didnt feel good missing class, but couldnt do anything abt it really. blah. Next time i'll give myself sufficient time to get to classes! Seems like i'm always just on time, or late. Typical singporean. tsk tsk.

That's basically the most interesting and exciting thing that has happened this week. It's been one stressful and topsy-turvy week but God's grace is sufficient for me, and so much more for those who are weak. For when we are weak, then we are strong :)
Well, hope you guys are having a good week. Weekend's almost here! Take care, God bless and have a lovely and relaxing weekend ahead.

Nottingham games, here i come! ;)

for him who is on a wing and a prayer ;)

"Once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned forever skyward, for there you have been, and there you long to return"
-Leonardo Da Vinci

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they
sometimes will.
When the road youre trudging sems
all up hill.
When the funds are low, and the debts are hugh.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest of you must, but dont quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he
stuck it out;
Dont give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is a failure turned inside out,
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when youre
hardest hit,
it's when things seem worse,
that you must not quit.

i surrender.

to be strong and act as if everything's alright.
or.
to dwell on my inadequacies and weaknesses.
How easy it is swing from one end to the other.

Humble me Father
to admit i need You, that i can't do this on my own.
and.
not to look within myself, but to look up to You.

"...Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. " 2 Cor 12:8-10

a girl, a guitar and a song

Finally got my hands on an acoustic guitar today! =) Played till my fingers were numb and my hand was shaking. heh. I brought a guitar here with me from singapore, but it's a classical, and i really missed the sound of an acoustic. It belongs to a year 3 psychology student from singapore. she's really humorous, caring and her heart's for God.
Played all the songs i knew by hard - Here i am to worship, We fall down, Love unfailing, He who began a good work in me, I want to know you, Blessed be your name, and some other new songs as well! Oh and if youre reading this gina, i played your song for them as well, the one that starts with a C#m. (where you lead me i will go...) Miss those days in tlc where we'll slack off at work and start jamming. thanks for teaching me songs in E. =)
This song brought back lots of memories back from YPM.

How could i live without You

How could i live without You
How could i survive without Your touch
Without Your love
Youre the one who heals me
Cleanses my heart
And set me free

So i come right before you
With my hands lifted up
And my knee humbly bowed
at Your work on the cross
As You hung there and died
You were paying the price
for my life... for my life.

For Your love is higher than the heavens
deeper than the sea
All i want is You in my life
No one else
could satisfy my heart
make me feel this way
Only you Lord,
only You...

food for thought

People are different, that's what makes us human.
But the ability to look at someone, and see
another person and not someone who's different,
that's what makes us divine.

...it is finished!

Phew... after days and nights working on my essay, it's FINALLY ALMOST complete. Just need to do a final reading through, add a few more pics, and it's DONE! at last. On hindsight, it's not worth spending so much research, time, effort and getting so stressed over it. But i can't help it, i'm a perfectionist by nature. Bleh. =/ oh well, i've finally thrown in the towel and said i will STOP!!! no more drafts for me. On to other stuff like get ready to write my first lab report! Heh. Well, at least I don't feel too slack now... There's always work to keep me occupied.

Amazing how easily I get fixated and ditracted by trivial and unimportant things... it's like a million things demanding my attention and memory at once. And i get sucked into it... Makes me really frustrated cos i end up wasting so much time. But guess i'm used to it, just need to know how to deal with it when it comes... Well, like a friend used to say "I'm alive and well.. Praise the Lord!" heh. Humour, other than God and loved ones, keep me going... whee. Tmr's a free day for me. Going to shop! Buy MORE clothes, heh... seems like i buy more stuff here then back in Singapore. It's like an addiction. And also need to take a walk and stretch. Pretty much confined to the university campus, my hall and my room most of the week... but i'm not complaining, the campus is rather pretty on a non-rainy day, and i quite like my room as well.

It's been 2 months since i've been here. Seems so long, yet time flew by so fast. Another month and a half before the end of term. Then it's off to germany for me, to practise what i've learnt in german class, and get lost with my mom. heh. Another exciting story to tell you guys when i get back :) okay, shall stop here for today, it's been one mass rambling session but feels good after doing a technical essay on "visual illusions" Thanks for reading! Have a good rest of the week you guys, and all the best for the upcoming exams, work assignments, bible studies and flights! ;)

Short Poem

Calm this restless spirit within me,
Take captive every thought
and make it obedient to You.
Teach me to be still,
and to wait upon You
all of my days.