Counting down: 8 weeks to POP...

Survived another 2 weeks of tactical training, was pretty challenging and fun, especially with the mock cell fights, which left me a fair share of bruises. I'm beginning to understand the reality of the dangers of this job - not as simple as i first thought. I wonder how I would react when such situations do arise, i would have to make quick decisions, which would affect people's safety & lives... can i do it?

I'll be back at the Home Team Academy this week before our final 2 weeks of tactical training. Having our progress test on 30 Sept (Tues) which consists of 20% of our overall 'grade' (yes, we're assessed...) And i thought that there would be no more exams after uni.. heh. Need prayers if you can afford it. thanks :)

Went to CEFC today. Was inspired by a true story shared by the pastor. Watch it here.
The pastor also shared a parable which i've heard sometime ago, but it was a timely reminder for me. May it encourage you as it did for me.

A water bearer had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house." Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. So as we seek ways to minister together, and as God calls you to the tasks He has appointed for you, don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway. Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength, and that "In Him every one of God's promises is a Yes."

Faith in the Midst of Chaos

The news lately have been scary.

Wall street crash.
Political instability and protests in Thailand and Malaysia.
Floods and christian persecutions in India.
Earthquake and poisonings in China.
Bombings in Pakistan.
Cold-blooded murder in Singapore.

What is this world coming to?
I ask myself,
In helplessness and dismay -
I can but whisper a prayer for them.
My personal struggles and problems seem so insignificant in light of these events,
Ashamed at my self-centeredness
And amazed that You still care.
People go on with their busy lives,
Not knowing it's the signs of the end times.
Though we may not understand everything,
I know You are still God.
In the midst of this chaos,
Help us be still
and continue trusting in You.

I was randomly listening to some songs recently and fell in love with this song. Enjoy :)

updates

I passed my driving test (my 2nd attempt) today! Wohoo... It had been 3 months since my last (failed) test and i only took 2 lessons before my 2nd test, felt pretty unprepared and nervous, but thank God i got a more lenient tester (in my opinion) as compared to last time. 1 more hazard on the road! heh. yes guys, i'll inform you when i'm driving so you know when not to drive. well, dont think i'll be doing any driving soon though... no car and don't intend to get one in the near future cos don't see a need for it. It's more of a skill which i believe will come in handy someday sometime... though an expensive one to acquire.

Next 2 weeks will be staying out of camp cos going for another round of tactical trg - this time learning Control & Restraint techniques - prepared for more bruises, aches and pains to come. Will be fun. Time really flies... 15 weeks of training has gone by very quickly. Another 10 more weeks before i pass out (for those who dont know, i dont mean faint, it means graduate from my training) Having mixed feelings about it, on one hand looking forward to finally starting real work in prison, yet on the other hand, i feel very inadequate and unprepared to face the world of prison. But i know that i'll never feel ready and that i will learn most on the job... If God has called me here, then He will be faithful to bring me through it!

It's not easy being a leader - often it's lonely leading, your decisions and authority are sometimes questioned. Smth which i'm learning the hard way. But i am reminded that many people chosen by God to lead were far from leaders when they were called... Looks like there's hope afterall. heh.

thoughts

Won't you calm this storm within me
Help me to be still
To think about what is good, lovely, admirable
To think about who really matters
To pray for the lost, the needy, the hurting
Why am i entangled in my own raging thoughts?

Time and time again
I ask why
Sometimes we don't get all the answers we want
I don't understand some things
But You give us the grace we need
To continue to trust You

Help us see beyond what our human eyes can see
To see the world beyond
To see Your greatness and Your love
That we may live this life
To glorify You