For those who are weary and carry heavy burdens...

All Who Are Thirsty - by Kutless

All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Come to the fountain
Dip your heart in the stream of life
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away
In the waves of his mercy
As deep cries out to deep we sing

Come Lord Jesus come
Come Lord Jesus come
Come Lord Jesus come

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"He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

...

weekend's ended.... phew. kinda glad it's over, strangely. Feeling quite tired from all the activity recently. Not that i don't enjoy the stuff i'm doing, but i really need some time-out.
Been neglecting those dear to my heart, and it hurts me so. i'm sorry...
Lord, pls teach me what to do, how to spend my time wisely.

hope you all had a good weekend. take care and have a blessed week ahead my friends. i do miss many of you so.

heyho

hi all,

it's been a tiring week, struggling to stay awake in classes, i'm starting to drink coffee every day! heh. to think i never used to like coffee. Compromised my time with God a bit this week as well =/ Nottingham games this weekend (when singaporeans from all over UK come to Notts to compete in various sports and games) I'm playing tennis again, weather's bee hovering ard zero degrees celsius the past few weeks. hope i don't turn to an icicle. heh. A friend from York is coming down to stay at my place for 2 nights also, my first 'guest'! heh. prob bring her ard... then hall reunion dinner on sunday. busy weekend ahead. pls pray for strength for me. thanks... take care and have a good weekend ahead too my friends. Till next time...

Here's a daily devotional taken from "My Utmost for His Highest". kinda applies to me recently...

Direction of Focus

Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters . . . , so our eyes look to the Lord our God . . . —Psalm 123:2

This verse is a description of total reliance on God. Just as the eyes of a servant are riveted on his master, our eyes should be directed to and focused on God. This is how knowledge of His countenance is gained and how God reveals Himself to us (see Isaiah 53:1 ). Our spiritual strength begins to be drained when we stop lifting our eyes to Him. Our stamina is sapped, not so much through external troubles surrounding us but through problems in our thinking. We wrongfully think, "I suppose I’ve been stretching myself a little too much, standing too tall and trying to look like God instead of being an ordinary humble person." We have to realize that no effort can be too high.
For example, you came to a crisis in your life, took a stand for God, and even had the witness of the Spirit as a confirmation that what you did was right. But now, maybe weeks or years have gone by, and you are slowly coming to the conclusion— "Well, maybe what I did showed too much pride or was superficial. Was I taking a stand a bit too high for me?" Your "rational" friends come and say, "Don’t be silly. We knew when you first talked about this spiritual awakening that it was a passing impulse, that you couldn’t hold up under the strain. And anyway, God doesn’t expect you to endure." You respond by saying, "Well, I suppose I was expecting too much." That sounds humble to say, but it means that your reliance on God is gone, and you are now relying on worldly opinion. The danger comes when, no longer relying on God, you neglect to focus your eyes on Him. Only when God brings you to a sudden stop will you realize that you have been the loser. Whenever there is a spiritual drain in your life, correct it immediately. Realize that something has been coming between you and God, and change or remove it at once.

late night thoughts

Words that You say - by Something Like Silas

FH: i take back what i said about the CD, the more i listen to it, the more i'm growing attached to some of the songs :) Here's just one of them, have been listening to it almost everyday, kinda expresses the longings of my heart for the past week or so. Enjoy....

Speak in this close communion
Though this hour seems timeless still
I wait for your words that bid me come

Breathe in me, Holy Spirit
The will when my tomorrow comes
To follow when this song is gone

So I await the words that you say
I open my life
I am longing just to hear these words
That you say, that you say

Shape me with words of wisdom
Free my torn heart from this world
Renew my mind and form my will

Teach me to wholly offer
More than words that I can sing
So I become the song I bring

So I await the words that you say
I open my life
I am longing just to hear these words
That you say, that you say

Speak in this close communion
Though this hour seems timeless still
I wait for your words that bid me come

Breathe in me, Holy Spirit
The will when my tomorrow comes
To follow when this song is gone

So I await the words that you say
I open my life
I am longing just to hear these words
That you say, that you say

So I await the words that you say
I open my life
I am longing just to hear these words
That you say, that you say

Can I be an instrument of praise
And here pursue your heart
So my life will tell of who you are

Can I be a channel of your love
A reflection of your light
And live to bring you praise and serve you, Lord

So I await the words that you say
I open my life
I am longing just to hear these words
That you say, that you say

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how does one listen to God? Yes, the sheep know the Shepard's voice... hmm, i think i'm a sheep with bad hearing =/ He needs to yell at me to get my attention. Like now.
I need to be still, and know that He is God.

an Encounter with God

God is so so good. He never disappoints, and indeed He gives us more than we ask or ever imagine.
Was refreshed and touched by Him this weekend, and more importantly He spoke right into my heart and reached down where no one else can. Was reminded of His love and brought back to the foot of the cross.

His presence and love was so real and tangible. it's not that God turns up only at christian camps and reveals Himself. But so much prayer went into this, and God really wanted to meet His people in this camp. And minus all the usual distractions of the world, it was easier to seek and focus on Him. But that doesnt mean we can't experience His presence right where we are - be it right in our own room whatsoever.

Someone said, this camp is for messed up people. heh. This prob applies to 99% of everyone. But yeah, it is here we confront our deepest and darkest secrets, sins, hurts and everything which we hide inside of ourselves - from others, and even sometimes, ourselves. And to allow God to heal them through His love and forgiveness.

I've learnt the true meaning of John 15:5 "I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing." I need to walk closely with God on order to do His work, and i guess that is what i've been neglecting for the past month or so. It's easier said than done, and when the rubber hits the road it's so easy to fall again. So pls pray that God's grace would help me to press in to Him, and to know His heartbeat. I've realised what my greatest fear is: For me to live my life without God. And for my heart to grow cold towards God.

O how marvellous it is to come into God's embrace and become one of His children - to truly know and experience that love and forgiveness He has for you. To know how much He values you so much so that He willingly died for you. to know that He loves you unconditionally. And how much He wishes for you to come into His fold. He's just waiting for you to ask Him to come into your life. To have that eternal hope of spending eternity with Him. That would be the greatest and bestest thing a person could ever do in his/ her life - to know his/ her creator and saviour.

on listening

I have not been listening - to God =/
too much activity around me. too restless. feel as if i should be 'doing' something all the time.
burns and drains me out, eventually. i just wish to be obedient to Him...
BUT how can i obey if i don't listen?

Will be away at a retreat this weekend, called Encounter weekend. Pray it'll be time for me to come back to His feet once again, to be broken, and refreshed.

"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams. "

on lab reports

My first graded assignment is due tmr!
It seems like whenever i do smth, it's so hard for me to be contented with what i have produced. I keep on wanting to make it better and improving it till i'm satisfied. It's not entirely wrong i guess, but when it gets obsessive and i make it my priority, then thats where it goes wrong...
Guess that applies pretty much for most of my life. Been brought up as a perfectionist. Can't really deal with failure or less than perfect work =/

Anyway here's a song from the latest album from Casting Crowns (courtesy of FH) =)

If you ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If You ask me to go
Preach to the lost world that Jesus saves

I’ll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I’m nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don’t need me
So I’ll stand on Your truth, and I’ll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

If You ask me to run
And carry Your light into foreign land
If You ask me to fight
Deliver Your people from satan’s hand

To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I’d give my last breath for Your glory

phew

Wow, end of another week. I'm losing track of time nowadays.
Had a good solid rock meeting tonight. Praise God. I'm learning to lead worship here... wont ever get to do that back home cos ypm has so many talented worship leaders. heh. but yeah. making lots and lots of mistakes and learning from them the hard way. God has been so good to us.
Struggling with what to do and what not to do recently - so many things going on, i feel i have to do everything all the time, just drains me mentally, emotionally, physically. All of them are 'good' things, but my time and energy's so limited. He's telling me to be obedient to what He calls me to do and not run about like a headless chicken aimlessly... guess i'm still learning to discern and know specifically what He wants me to do here...

Weekend's here. Time to catch up on work again. heh. Seems like a never-ending battle. Well, tmr's bonfire night (i.e. excuse for ple to set off fireworks) sidenote: it's very very noisy....
Weather update: it's turning dark at 4pm now... i smell winter coming, starting to affect my mood already =/ Turning cold too...

Received FH's parcel today =) yay. listening to Shawn McDonald's CD now. nice....

soup run for the homeless

Went for a soup run tonight in nottingham town.
5 of us - 1 guy and 4 girls. but the main one in charge of it is a girl who's been doing it faithfully every week for 2 years already. amazing.
It was cold, not nice to be in town at night, a lot of dodgy people around. never like the city at night.
anyway back to the point.
So we walked down the city centre, giving out food (comprising of sandwiches, cakes, fruits, chocolate bars, and hot drinks) to the 'homeless' people roaming the streets. Was a lil apprehensive initially cos have not done this before and the people who came up to us looks exactly like those people i would want to avoid when i go out. But they were generally quite nice to us (i.e. asked politely for food, though some complained we were taking too long, etc etc. And some got irritated when we ran out of food) Most of the time it was people coming up to us than we going up to them cos most of them have been homeless for some time and they know people give out free food on this day at this certain time...

I didnt really talk much to them cos of the cultural barrier, didnt really know how to start a conversation and keep it going either without being awkward =/ so just asked them what food they wanted and gave it to them.

But along the way one of us saw an old man walking on crutches and approached him. He seemed really cold and hungry. He sat down at the bench and we gave him some hot drinks. He was quite old, hard of hearing, and we couldnt really hear him speak. Sat down beside him and tried talking to him... he doesnt have a family or if he has they have abandoned him, and he just wanders round alone from day-to-day. I dont know if anyone were to know if he were to die on the streets one day. He seemed really sad.

Felt sorry for him, but know that whatever i say or do wouldnt help his situation. Really wanted to tell him about Jesus. But i didnt know how. He asked me if i had a happy family. i answered smth really stupid i'd think. i said "Well, my parents are separated... but i've got Jesus." in a vain attempt to tell him about Jesus. sigh.

Really wanted so much to give him some hope, some joy. not just transient hope, or temporary happiness. But eternal. That the food we're giving out only fills his hunger for a while, but only Jesus can fill his spiritual hunger... But i guess it starts with meeting the practical needs first.
How much can i do? How much impact can one do... in eternity.
i'm typing this in the comforts of my room, but he's out there in the freezing cold now =/ i can pray for him but i can also do more... O Lord, pls teach me how. Give me a heart of compassion.