Past 2 weeks my time has been spent cleaning/tidying the house, having guests over at our house, visiting friends, Solid Rock.
Gave my first gospel talk last Friday. Was pretty hesitant to do it. I still remember the first time i had to speak in front of an audience. Someone came up to me after that and told me he counted i said like 80+ 'erms' in my 15min speech! So i don't think i have the gift of speaking. But i felt God challenging me to do it, so i spent a whole day preparing for a 15minute message. Wasn't as easy as i thought. So much to say, so little time, don't know the best way to put it across. Felt i was relying on my own wisdom and strength. And when the time came to speak, i lost quite a lot of words, didnt feel like i did a good 'job'. But God reminded me that He works best through my weaknesses, if only i submit to Him, learn not to try take control but to depend wholly on Him. Learnt that the result is up to Him, i only have to love and obey.
Starting school this Monday. Feel quite unprepared for it.
I've been feeling quite drained and unfocused lately. Hope you could keep me in prayer, friends. That i would know what Father wants me to focus on. What He wants me to do. Thanks... :)
Learning to Walk on Water
Sea of Galilee, Israel
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
On The Weekend
Last Saturday, I visited an amazing man. His name in Don Rowley. He’s English, 86 years old, can speak more than 5 languages, of which English is one of them, the rest, various middle eastern languages and dialects. He’s lived 50 years of his life as a missionary in the middle east. I can imagine how difficult it must have been - the suffering, persecution and all. It’s hard ground there. He’s seen 15 of his friends die, because of Jesus. I believe it’s only by God’s grace that his life has been spared. Because of his health (I think), he’s now living in England, in a small town not too far from Nottingham. He still preaches, evangelizes to muslims in England, helps persecuted muslims who have converted to Christianity, and makes trips back to the middle east when he can. I believe his heart longs to be back, but I think he’s here only because God has told him to be here. I still can see the burning passion that he had some 50 years ago when God called him to reach the muslims.
It’s people like him, when I meet, I cant help but feel ashamed and inspired both at the same time. Ashamed that I’m so a mediocre Christian compared to him; Ashamed because I’m complaining about so many insignificant things in life when so many other people are suffering much more. Inspired that there are Christians like Don around; Inspired to live a live sold out to Christ. To give my all to God, in whatever capacity God has give me, in whatever place He has placed me in, till perhaps He calls me out too.
I don’t have a picture of him with me, but he’s asked me to come visit him again someday. Anyone interested to come along? =)
It’s people like him, when I meet, I cant help but feel ashamed and inspired both at the same time. Ashamed that I’m so a mediocre Christian compared to him; Ashamed because I’m complaining about so many insignificant things in life when so many other people are suffering much more. Inspired that there are Christians like Don around; Inspired to live a live sold out to Christ. To give my all to God, in whatever capacity God has give me, in whatever place He has placed me in, till perhaps He calls me out too.
I don’t have a picture of him with me, but he’s asked me to come visit him again someday. Anyone interested to come along? =)
Song by Selah
His Eye Is On The Sparrow
Mrs. C.D. Martin, Charles H. Gabriel
Why do I feel discourged
Why do the shadows come
And why does my heart feel lonely
And long for heaven and home
When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And i know He watches me
Chorus:
So I sing because I’m happy
And I sing because I’m free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
So I sing because I’m happy
And I sing because I’m free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches
And I know He watches
And I know He watches me
i know this is not a sparrow, but i thought it's a nice pic :) A friend took it in Notts, a gifted photographer indeed. i do like birds quite a lot.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Many Things
So many things
Crying out for my attention
Many things
I wish to do and accomplish
Torn by
Many things
I am concerned about
Many things
But only
Some things
Are needful
And only
One thing
Is necessary
Sunday, September 17, 2006
The Blind Bus Passenger
This story struck a chord in me and warmed my heart. May it do the same for you too... :)
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver, and using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity.Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth: her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion.And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark. Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic, and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses especially her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment.He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit. Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience and his love. She said goodbye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself! On Friday morning, Susan took the bus as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live the past year? Curious she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?" The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and asked again, "What do you mean?"The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, and gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady." Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
- Author unknown
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver, and using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, thirty-four, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity.Once a fiercely independent woman, Susan now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her. "How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth: her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion.And all she had to cling to was her husband Mark. Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Mark's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic, and costly. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses especially her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment.He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her and save her a seat. He made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus, or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. He believed in her, in the Susan he used to know before she'd lost her sight, who wasn't afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit. Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience and his love. She said goodbye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself! On Friday morning, Susan took the bus as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live the past year? Curious she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?" The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and asked again, "What do you mean?"The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, and gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady." Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
- Author unknown
Friday, September 15, 2006
Back in Notts. Round 3... Fight!
Hi all,
I'm typing this from my new house in Nottingham now. It's still in quite a mess cos haven't unpacked fully due to settling other stuff, meeting up with friends and other distractions... Bleh. But settling down pretty well, friends here are pretty much like family. Really blessed and thankful to God for them. It's what i really love about here.
Well, here's some pics of my room ;)
I'm typing this from my new house in Nottingham now. It's still in quite a mess cos haven't unpacked fully due to settling other stuff, meeting up with friends and other distractions... Bleh. But settling down pretty well, friends here are pretty much like family. Really blessed and thankful to God for them. It's what i really love about here.
Well, here's some pics of my room ;)
Me, My couch and my bed!
My study table, wardrobe and drawers
The Kitchen!
The Living Room (which is pretty messy now, cos it's a storehouse for friend's stuff... heh)
Yup, it's not a very nice place in terms of physical aspects, but i feel pretty much at home here :)
Anywayyy, Thanks mommy, meixin, yvonne, janice, lena, pheng aun and jonathan for sending me off on 11th sept :) Here are the pics:
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Ready or Not, Here I Go/Come
Last day in Singapore before i go away for another year.
Having pre-departure emotions: sadness, detachment, anxiety, fear, excitement
Brining back lots more food this time. Heh. I really hope the immigration will let me through.
The 4 days in Malaysia was good. Thanks Eeling and Pheng Aun for hosting me around!
Been reading a book entitled 'We Would See Jesus' lately, just wanna share smth that has set me re-thinking and changed my persepctive about my relationship with God:
"Make no mistake, we ought to have a continuing devotional life with the Lord, expressing itself in prayer and feeding on His Word. If that is not ours it is because we have become spiritually cold, and have got out of touch with the Lord. This is, perhaps, the surrest index of where we are spiritually at any given time. In such a case the remedy is not, as is popularly supposed, to make a new attempt to pray and read the Bible more regularly, but to go direct to the Lord Jesus Himself to repent of the coldness and of the things that have caused it, and to receive from Him again His cleansing. Then it is that prayer and the study of His Word are suffused once more with the glory of His Presence and become a delight, and our witness to others becomes fresh and spontaneous. It is as simple as that! In this way we find Jesus to be the Way to our devotions, rather than our devotions the Way to Him - (take note, read slowly here) except in so far that in getting right with Him we do actually pray, and in dealing with us God invariably uses His Word. (sounds confusing and maybe contradicting at first doesnt it? Yet, it does make sense. Tho' i still can't fully understand how all this works...)"
Yup. Hope it helps :)
I've to be off now, more packing to do...
To those i won't be seeing in some time, do stay in touch and hope to see you guys again soon!
To those i'll be seeing soon, i'm looking forward to seeing you guys :)
Having pre-departure emotions: sadness, detachment, anxiety, fear, excitement
Brining back lots more food this time. Heh. I really hope the immigration will let me through.
The 4 days in Malaysia was good. Thanks Eeling and Pheng Aun for hosting me around!
Been reading a book entitled 'We Would See Jesus' lately, just wanna share smth that has set me re-thinking and changed my persepctive about my relationship with God:
"Make no mistake, we ought to have a continuing devotional life with the Lord, expressing itself in prayer and feeding on His Word. If that is not ours it is because we have become spiritually cold, and have got out of touch with the Lord. This is, perhaps, the surrest index of where we are spiritually at any given time. In such a case the remedy is not, as is popularly supposed, to make a new attempt to pray and read the Bible more regularly, but to go direct to the Lord Jesus Himself to repent of the coldness and of the things that have caused it, and to receive from Him again His cleansing. Then it is that prayer and the study of His Word are suffused once more with the glory of His Presence and become a delight, and our witness to others becomes fresh and spontaneous. It is as simple as that! In this way we find Jesus to be the Way to our devotions, rather than our devotions the Way to Him - (take note, read slowly here) except in so far that in getting right with Him we do actually pray, and in dealing with us God invariably uses His Word. (sounds confusing and maybe contradicting at first doesnt it? Yet, it does make sense. Tho' i still can't fully understand how all this works...)"
Yup. Hope it helps :)
I've to be off now, more packing to do...
To those i won't be seeing in some time, do stay in touch and hope to see you guys again soon!
To those i'll be seeing soon, i'm looking forward to seeing you guys :)
Monday, September 04, 2006
I'm like a bird...
Dear all,
Just a short update. The last week has been pretty gd just spending quiet mornings at home, and catching up with friends and spending time with family occassionally. I've got another week more before i fly back to UK again to continue my final year of studies in Nottingham. Was struggling to decide if i should go up to KL with my mom to visit some friends there from Notts, or stay in sgp to spend time with friends back home. I'm a really indecisive person and i finally decided a day before i'll make a trip to Malaysia, i asked God about it and He seemed to open doors for me to go so i'm going... Guess it's also partly due to my restlessness, that wanting to 'do something' all the time, as a friend puts it. Smth i need God to change in me... to learn to Be Still.
Well i foresee a hectic week, furiously packing and tying up loose ends before i leave. Strangely i'm quite looking forward to going back, nevertheless, i still feel somewhat daunting by the challenges ahead... but shall take things one step at a time, trusting and depending on the Lord to guide and see me through.
It's been an exciting journey, not a smooth one, but growing and learning each step of the way. Thanks for being on this journey with me, perhaps not physically for some of you, but thanks for reading nevertheless (one of the reasons that motivates me to blog) and i know many things wouldn't have been possible without many of your prayers as well.
I pray the Lord will lead and guide you in each of your journeys.
In His love,
Pam
Just a short update. The last week has been pretty gd just spending quiet mornings at home, and catching up with friends and spending time with family occassionally. I've got another week more before i fly back to UK again to continue my final year of studies in Nottingham. Was struggling to decide if i should go up to KL with my mom to visit some friends there from Notts, or stay in sgp to spend time with friends back home. I'm a really indecisive person and i finally decided a day before i'll make a trip to Malaysia, i asked God about it and He seemed to open doors for me to go so i'm going... Guess it's also partly due to my restlessness, that wanting to 'do something' all the time, as a friend puts it. Smth i need God to change in me... to learn to Be Still.
Well i foresee a hectic week, furiously packing and tying up loose ends before i leave. Strangely i'm quite looking forward to going back, nevertheless, i still feel somewhat daunting by the challenges ahead... but shall take things one step at a time, trusting and depending on the Lord to guide and see me through.
It's been an exciting journey, not a smooth one, but growing and learning each step of the way. Thanks for being on this journey with me, perhaps not physically for some of you, but thanks for reading nevertheless (one of the reasons that motivates me to blog) and i know many things wouldn't have been possible without many of your prayers as well.
I pray the Lord will lead and guide you in each of your journeys.
In His love,
Pam
Saturday, September 02, 2006
For People Who are Hurting...
At YPM (Young People Ministry) tonight, i was reminded that primarily, Jesus simply just wants to meet my needs, people's needs. Spiritual, Emotional, Mental and Physical. Body, Mind, Spirit, Soul. That's why He came down to earth in the first place. Such a simple, yet profound truth. To know that i matter to him, my hurts and worries, no matter how small, matters to him. That He knows, and cares. And i guess that's what He calls us to do as well, to meet people's needs... But we must first let Him meet our needs first before we can meet others' needs...
Dear Friends,
Jesus cares about you. He loves you more than anyone else does, or can. He understands fully your innermost hurts and struggles. He sees each tear that you shed. And it breaks His heart to see His child hurting. He wants to meet your needs, He can help you - but only if you allow Him to. Only He has the words of truth and eternal life, and there's nowhere else we can go. Just talk to Jesus today and tell him how you feel, and ask Him to meet your needs... it's really that simple...
You dance over me
When I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound
Lord i'm amazed by You
Lord i'm amazed by You
Lord i'm amazed by You
How You love me
How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me...
Dear Friends,
Jesus cares about you. He loves you more than anyone else does, or can. He understands fully your innermost hurts and struggles. He sees each tear that you shed. And it breaks His heart to see His child hurting. He wants to meet your needs, He can help you - but only if you allow Him to. Only He has the words of truth and eternal life, and there's nowhere else we can go. Just talk to Jesus today and tell him how you feel, and ask Him to meet your needs... it's really that simple...
You dance over me
When I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound
Lord i'm amazed by You
Lord i'm amazed by You
Lord i'm amazed by You
How You love me
How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me...
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