15 more days before it’s another 9 months away from home… seems so unreal again. Yet with each day to my departure, I do feel sad. But not as sad or apprehensive as last year. Now, I’ve got friends there and Notts has become a familiar place (well, more or less, I still get lost once in a while, heh)
Have been spending my days pretty much like last year, doing nothing much in particular. Trying out cooking at home (hmm. Lemme see. Curry chicken. Sweet and sour pork. Black pepper prawns…), learning some guit, catching up with some friends, going with my mom for movies and run errands, play tennis with Dad, went windsurfing once with him as well! Helping out on an ad-hoc basis in church and at a home beside Woodbridge. Quite amazing how these seemingly small things can make me busy and pass my time, though at times I still feel pretty aimless, but guess it’s normal… until school starts again. ‘
Will be going to Malaysia for a week this Friday, 3 days in Kuantan for a short mission trip. Then off to somewhere in Malaysia to see some lake my mom wants to see. Heh. Might go visit my relatives in Klang as well. Meet up with a couple of friends in JB hopefully. Then back home to get ready to fly back to UK… oh… fast fast fast.
Learning to Walk on Water
Sea of Galilee, Israel
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
taste of flight - Going Solo by Saurabh Lall
He was nervous. He had had a queasy feeling in his stomach since last night. Bleary eyed and tired, he had not been able to sleep a wink the previous night. He had hardly managed to eat dinner and there was no way he could have eaten breakfast that morning, such was the condition of his stomach. Of course it did not show, or so he thought, but his veteran instructor had already noticed the tell-tale signs of nervousness as soon as he met him. The instructor wondered about his student's condition for a few seconds, then remembered hundreds of youngsters before him who had felt the same way on such an important occasion, and to call it the most challenging and important day of his life would be an understatement, it meant a lot more to him. He briefly thought about his own first experience, all those years ago.
The day had been almost like this, maybe a little less cloudy, still he had faith in the kid's ability. The nervousness would soon disappear, instinct and training would take over, and pretty soon he'd feel right at home. The young boy (he was barely eighteen) listened to a few last minute words of advice from his instructor, wiping a drop of sweat from his brow. It was not a hot day, quite pleasant in fact, but he still felt like he was drowning in perspiration. He went through the cycle in his mind again, and again and again. "He had to do this right. He could not screw up. He would not screw up. Hell, he was good, and he knew it..." After going through the usual procedures with a checklist, he began the ultimate experience....his first solo...
Roaring down the empty airstrip, the noise of the engine was somewhat deafening, but also reassuring. Soon he knew, he would be right at home, "at home in the air....because that's where he belonged....that's where all pilots belonged, right from von Richthofen to Robin Olds, from Lindbergh to Rutan, for them, land was only a temporary dwelling where one must return to eat and sleep. Besides that the only thing that kept them from staying up there was of course...fuel." "And remember to set the fuel mixture to rich.", jerked out of his daydream by his instructor's final words of advice, he said the customary, "Roger that!" He increased the throttle to eighty-five percent, accelerated rapidly and slowly lifted the nose up....he was airborne! Looking somewhat comical and maybe even a little ungainly, the Cessna 152 leapt into the sky with the grace of a Basketball player.....his dreams along with him, had finally taken flight. Without him even realizing it, a wide smile had formed on his lips. "What was that his instructor had said? After your first solo, your cheek muscles will be hurting the most..."cause you're going to have a wide grin plastered on your face the whole day. That was probably true....he couldn't remember a single day when he had been in a better mood." He looked at the instrument panel again and told himself, "Stop daydreaming! Concentrate on the flight!" Everything seemed to be perfect, he checked his short flight plan, and adjusted his magnetic compass. "I wonder if all pilots talk to themselves at 8000 feet? There, I'm doing it again. Must be lack of Oxygen. Ha, OK. Leveling off at 8,000 feet. Airspeed 142 indicated. God, that sky is so BLUE! And I'm up here, I'm finally flying!" He leaned back into his seat, still smiling, looking down on the miniature town beneath him, filled with people driving around in their cars, going about their busy lives, not one of them had the time to stop and look up into that beautiful blue sky, and see the clouds, the sun, the birds and a little single-engined plane with a nervous student pilot in it. But then again, maybe someone was watching him, some kid in his school playground, who stopped playing cricket for a minute to watch that little single-engined plane fly overhead, to listen to the music of it's engine as others covered their ears, to wait for it to pass by. And maybe that kid could already identify the plane, and maybe he was wishing he was in it, soaring high above, instead of having to do Chemistry in the next period. "You'll make it too, whoever you are....if you are down there that is....just like I did," he mumbled to himself, "G'luck". 'It really was a beautiful day, but I guess all pilots feel that way on their first solo, nothing can possibly go wrong.'
It was magical, that first rush of true freedom, coupled with some apprehension, no comforting instructor in the right hand seat, ready to take over at any moment. He was on his own, the ultimate test of his skill. The sense of freedom was soon taken over by the immense number of jobs to do in the cockpit, and with no one to remind him in case he forgot anything, he couldn't afford to lose concentration for a second, he had to be constantly aware of the weather conditions, which could change at a moment's notice. He had to understand what his instruments were telling him. Ultimately even with all the modern technology, for a student pilot on his first solo, the most important element in the cockpit is still the pilot, a young, inexperienced kid, who is truly alone for the first time in his life, and holding that life in his own hands as he steadies the stick to keep the plane straight and level. And the weird thing is, that while accomplishing all these different challenging tasks, the pilot still has time to reflect on the true beauty of flight. He wonders what makes it so beautiful. But his question remains unanswered, People throughout history have wondered what make flight so beautiful, so magical, so...miraculous, and the truth is....after more than ninety years of powered flight, no pilot can truly describe what flight means to him or her. They can only take you up into the sky, and let you decide for yourself, just how...how indescribable flight really is.
The pilot now turned his plane into a standard two-minute turn to head back home. This turn back to base is usually accompanied by a feeling of disappointment in the pilot, he now has to return to the 'real' world, a dull place, where people are more concerned about what's on television than to ever think about flight. This feeling was followed by a feeling of apprehension in the student pilot. This was the real challenge. Landing. They say that 70 percent of all aircrashes occur during landing. The Aeroplane is at it's most vulnerable when close to the ground. Any idiot can fly a plane, but it takes a pilot to land it. The pilot checked and rechecked his instruments, and keyed in his mike: "This is Sierra-India-Zero-One-Niner, requesting permission to land". "Roger that, Zero-One-Niner, you are cleared to land. Had a good flight?" "Hehe, you bet I did! This is Zero-One-Niner coming in to land" "Okay kid, don't be nervous". He reduced power, lowered his flaps and readied the aircraft to land. Making a clean approach, he gently flared the little plane for a smooth touchdown. Reducing the throttle even further, he let out a low whistle as he taxied off the main airstrip and slowly mouthed the words of a Pink Floyd song, 'Learning to Fly', "There's no sensation to compare with this suspended animation, a state of bliss, can't keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I".
He finally understood what those words really meant, and how inadequate they were. The smile was still on his face. He hadn't stopped smiling since take-off, just like his instructor had said.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hmm. FH: i wonder if you felt this way on your first solo too? ;)
The day had been almost like this, maybe a little less cloudy, still he had faith in the kid's ability. The nervousness would soon disappear, instinct and training would take over, and pretty soon he'd feel right at home. The young boy (he was barely eighteen) listened to a few last minute words of advice from his instructor, wiping a drop of sweat from his brow. It was not a hot day, quite pleasant in fact, but he still felt like he was drowning in perspiration. He went through the cycle in his mind again, and again and again. "He had to do this right. He could not screw up. He would not screw up. Hell, he was good, and he knew it..." After going through the usual procedures with a checklist, he began the ultimate experience....his first solo...
Roaring down the empty airstrip, the noise of the engine was somewhat deafening, but also reassuring. Soon he knew, he would be right at home, "at home in the air....because that's where he belonged....that's where all pilots belonged, right from von Richthofen to Robin Olds, from Lindbergh to Rutan, for them, land was only a temporary dwelling where one must return to eat and sleep. Besides that the only thing that kept them from staying up there was of course...fuel." "And remember to set the fuel mixture to rich.", jerked out of his daydream by his instructor's final words of advice, he said the customary, "Roger that!" He increased the throttle to eighty-five percent, accelerated rapidly and slowly lifted the nose up....he was airborne! Looking somewhat comical and maybe even a little ungainly, the Cessna 152 leapt into the sky with the grace of a Basketball player.....his dreams along with him, had finally taken flight. Without him even realizing it, a wide smile had formed on his lips. "What was that his instructor had said? After your first solo, your cheek muscles will be hurting the most..."cause you're going to have a wide grin plastered on your face the whole day. That was probably true....he couldn't remember a single day when he had been in a better mood." He looked at the instrument panel again and told himself, "Stop daydreaming! Concentrate on the flight!" Everything seemed to be perfect, he checked his short flight plan, and adjusted his magnetic compass. "I wonder if all pilots talk to themselves at 8000 feet? There, I'm doing it again. Must be lack of Oxygen. Ha, OK. Leveling off at 8,000 feet. Airspeed 142 indicated. God, that sky is so BLUE! And I'm up here, I'm finally flying!" He leaned back into his seat, still smiling, looking down on the miniature town beneath him, filled with people driving around in their cars, going about their busy lives, not one of them had the time to stop and look up into that beautiful blue sky, and see the clouds, the sun, the birds and a little single-engined plane with a nervous student pilot in it. But then again, maybe someone was watching him, some kid in his school playground, who stopped playing cricket for a minute to watch that little single-engined plane fly overhead, to listen to the music of it's engine as others covered their ears, to wait for it to pass by. And maybe that kid could already identify the plane, and maybe he was wishing he was in it, soaring high above, instead of having to do Chemistry in the next period. "You'll make it too, whoever you are....if you are down there that is....just like I did," he mumbled to himself, "G'luck". 'It really was a beautiful day, but I guess all pilots feel that way on their first solo, nothing can possibly go wrong.'
It was magical, that first rush of true freedom, coupled with some apprehension, no comforting instructor in the right hand seat, ready to take over at any moment. He was on his own, the ultimate test of his skill. The sense of freedom was soon taken over by the immense number of jobs to do in the cockpit, and with no one to remind him in case he forgot anything, he couldn't afford to lose concentration for a second, he had to be constantly aware of the weather conditions, which could change at a moment's notice. He had to understand what his instruments were telling him. Ultimately even with all the modern technology, for a student pilot on his first solo, the most important element in the cockpit is still the pilot, a young, inexperienced kid, who is truly alone for the first time in his life, and holding that life in his own hands as he steadies the stick to keep the plane straight and level. And the weird thing is, that while accomplishing all these different challenging tasks, the pilot still has time to reflect on the true beauty of flight. He wonders what makes it so beautiful. But his question remains unanswered, People throughout history have wondered what make flight so beautiful, so magical, so...miraculous, and the truth is....after more than ninety years of powered flight, no pilot can truly describe what flight means to him or her. They can only take you up into the sky, and let you decide for yourself, just how...how indescribable flight really is.
The pilot now turned his plane into a standard two-minute turn to head back home. This turn back to base is usually accompanied by a feeling of disappointment in the pilot, he now has to return to the 'real' world, a dull place, where people are more concerned about what's on television than to ever think about flight. This feeling was followed by a feeling of apprehension in the student pilot. This was the real challenge. Landing. They say that 70 percent of all aircrashes occur during landing. The Aeroplane is at it's most vulnerable when close to the ground. Any idiot can fly a plane, but it takes a pilot to land it. The pilot checked and rechecked his instruments, and keyed in his mike: "This is Sierra-India-Zero-One-Niner, requesting permission to land". "Roger that, Zero-One-Niner, you are cleared to land. Had a good flight?" "Hehe, you bet I did! This is Zero-One-Niner coming in to land" "Okay kid, don't be nervous". He reduced power, lowered his flaps and readied the aircraft to land. Making a clean approach, he gently flared the little plane for a smooth touchdown. Reducing the throttle even further, he let out a low whistle as he taxied off the main airstrip and slowly mouthed the words of a Pink Floyd song, 'Learning to Fly', "There's no sensation to compare with this suspended animation, a state of bliss, can't keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I".
He finally understood what those words really meant, and how inadequate they were. The smile was still on his face. He hadn't stopped smiling since take-off, just like his instructor had said.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hmm. FH: i wonder if you felt this way on your first solo too? ;)
Sunday, August 21, 2005
An Amazing Life Story
Today's church sermon was not the usual one. Was given by Dr. William Tan, a doctor, neuroscientist, a Rafflesian, Oxford and Harvard graduate, and was also the first paraplegic to finish 10 Marathons in 7 continents (incl Antarctica!!) in just 70 days (to raise funds for the less fortunate/poor/disabled/etc and raise awareness abt their plight).... All this despite being born into a poor family, a kindergarten dropout and being paralysed from the waist down since he was 2. Amazing how he rised above his circumstances to accomplish and be who he is today.
Though he wasn't born into a Christian family, God's grace was upon his life from his birth, providing for him and preparing him for what was ahead... and even in leading Dr. Tan to Himself, that God purposed each and every detail in his life, so that God might be glorified and magnified through his life.
Life doesn't make sense. War, sickness, disability, death, etc... How can we trust God amidst all this? In Dr Tan's position, i think he would have more right than most of us to question the fairness of it all, yet he said that he never asked, not even once, 'why me'? He said God granted him the grace and gift of acceptance.
In John 9, Jesus' disciples asked him why a particular man was born blind, was it as a result of his own sins or those of his parents? It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins, Jesus answered, he was born blind so the power of God could be seen in his life. And he goes on to say that, all of us must quickly carry out the tasks assigned by the one who sent Him (God the Father) because there is little time left before the night falls and all work comes to an end (the end of the world i presume). So is this answer fair? One may ask, or even i ask sometimes. Yet, who are we, mere humans, creations of our Creator and Saviour, question Him? But when i see people like Dr. Tan, whom God has used so mightily despite his disability, i'm amazed and humbled.
Though he wasn't born into a Christian family, God's grace was upon his life from his birth, providing for him and preparing him for what was ahead... and even in leading Dr. Tan to Himself, that God purposed each and every detail in his life, so that God might be glorified and magnified through his life.
Life doesn't make sense. War, sickness, disability, death, etc... How can we trust God amidst all this? In Dr Tan's position, i think he would have more right than most of us to question the fairness of it all, yet he said that he never asked, not even once, 'why me'? He said God granted him the grace and gift of acceptance.
In John 9, Jesus' disciples asked him why a particular man was born blind, was it as a result of his own sins or those of his parents? It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins, Jesus answered, he was born blind so the power of God could be seen in his life. And he goes on to say that, all of us must quickly carry out the tasks assigned by the one who sent Him (God the Father) because there is little time left before the night falls and all work comes to an end (the end of the world i presume). So is this answer fair? One may ask, or even i ask sometimes. Yet, who are we, mere humans, creations of our Creator and Saviour, question Him? But when i see people like Dr. Tan, whom God has used so mightily despite his disability, i'm amazed and humbled.
Friday, August 19, 2005
song
When Nothing Satisfies by Jennifer Knapp (she's cool (:)
When it rains or it shines on this pillow of mine
I will lift up my head to the sky
So I have chance to see
Where my hope has come from
Know there's nothing that I can't abide
When Nothing Satisfies You
When nothing satisfies you
When nothing satisfies you
Hold my hand
Send forth Your Light Lord,
And send forth Your Truth
Let them guide me to Your Holy Place
Then will I go to the Altar of God
To my Joy, my Delight and my Strength
When Nothing Satisfies You
When nothing satisfies you
When nothing satisfies you
Hold my hand
Why are You so downcast o my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God My Savior, my King My Savior, my King
When Nothing Satisfies You
When nothing satisfies you
When nothing satisfies you
Hold my hand
When it rains or it shines on this pillow of mine
I will lift up my head to the sky
So I have chance to see
Where my hope has come from
Know there's nothing that I can't abide
When Nothing Satisfies You
When nothing satisfies you
When nothing satisfies you
Hold my hand
Send forth Your Light Lord,
And send forth Your Truth
Let them guide me to Your Holy Place
Then will I go to the Altar of God
To my Joy, my Delight and my Strength
When Nothing Satisfies You
When nothing satisfies you
When nothing satisfies you
Hold my hand
Why are You so downcast o my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God My Savior, my King My Savior, my King
When Nothing Satisfies You
When nothing satisfies you
When nothing satisfies you
Hold my hand
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
hymn
Bought a CD by Jars of Clay today. The album's called Redemption songs. i seldom buy myself CDs but i've been wanting to get this for some time already... so decided to satisfy my craving (:
I used to think hymns were boring, but slowly i've learnt to appreciate and see the beauty in them... in fact i think their lyrics are more meaningful than some of the 'new' christian songs... i try to listen to a mixture of both.
This album is a bridge between old hymns and modern music. Wanted to see how they remixed it. Sounds quite nice (:
Here is one of them entitled 'God Be Merciful to Me' from Psalm 51
God be merciful to me on Thy grace
I rest my plea
Plenteous in compassion Thou
Blot out my transgressions now
WASH ME, MAKE ME PURE WITHIN
CLEANSE, OH, CLEANSE ME FROM MY SIN
My transgressions I confess
Grief and guilt my soul oppress
I have sinned against They grace
And provoked Thee to Thy face
I CONFESS THY JUDEGMENT JUST
SPEECHLESS, I, THY MERCY TRUST
I am evil born in sin
Thou desires truth within
Thou alone my Saviour art
Teach Thy wisdom to my heart
MAKE ME PURE, THY GRACE BESTOW
WASH ME WHITER THAN THE SNOW
Gracious God, my heart renew
Make my spirit right and true
Thy salvation's joy impart
Steadfast make my willing heart
Steadfast make my willing heart
Broken, humbled to the dust
By Thy wrath and judgment just
Let my contrite heart rejoice
And in gladness hear Thy voice
FROM MY SINS, OH, HIDE THY FACE
BLOT THEM OUT IN BOUNDLESS GRACE
P.S. it sounds nicer with the music (:
I used to think hymns were boring, but slowly i've learnt to appreciate and see the beauty in them... in fact i think their lyrics are more meaningful than some of the 'new' christian songs... i try to listen to a mixture of both.
This album is a bridge between old hymns and modern music. Wanted to see how they remixed it. Sounds quite nice (:
Here is one of them entitled 'God Be Merciful to Me' from Psalm 51
God be merciful to me on Thy grace
I rest my plea
Plenteous in compassion Thou
Blot out my transgressions now
WASH ME, MAKE ME PURE WITHIN
CLEANSE, OH, CLEANSE ME FROM MY SIN
My transgressions I confess
Grief and guilt my soul oppress
I have sinned against They grace
And provoked Thee to Thy face
I CONFESS THY JUDEGMENT JUST
SPEECHLESS, I, THY MERCY TRUST
I am evil born in sin
Thou desires truth within
Thou alone my Saviour art
Teach Thy wisdom to my heart
MAKE ME PURE, THY GRACE BESTOW
WASH ME WHITER THAN THE SNOW
Gracious God, my heart renew
Make my spirit right and true
Thy salvation's joy impart
Steadfast make my willing heart
Steadfast make my willing heart
Broken, humbled to the dust
By Thy wrath and judgment just
Let my contrite heart rejoice
And in gladness hear Thy voice
FROM MY SINS, OH, HIDE THY FACE
BLOT THEM OUT IN BOUNDLESS GRACE
P.S. it sounds nicer with the music (:
Friday, August 12, 2005
Reflections
I’ve come to see (by God’s grace and revelation) the similarities and parallels between these inmates and ourselves:
1) We’re all prisoners - of sin. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Like the prisoners who deny their crime or minimize it, some of us are ignorant of the sin in our lives or choose to deny them, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are in prison (no matter how many times they assert they did not commit the crime or it’s not their fault or blame it on others), we are all trapped by sin’s power and hold over us, no matter how much good we have done or we say we do. Breaking the law has its consequences – you go to prison. In the same way, breaking God’s law has its consequences. “For the wages of sin is death…” In the words of the apostle Paul in Romans, “Well then, am I suggesting that the law of God is evil? (because it condemns us) Of course not! The law is not sinful but it was the law that showed me my sin. I would never know that coveting it wrong if the law had not said, ‘do not covet.’… So the good law, which was supposed to show me the way of life, instead gave me the death penalty. Sin used what was good to bring about my condemnation. So we can see now how terrible sin really is. It uses God’s good commandment for its own evil purposes.” Many of these prisoners commit crime because they are defiant to the law and chose to rebel. Others, simply ignorant to the law, didn’t realize they were doing something wrong (e.g. taking drugs) till they were caught. The same applies to most of us…
2) This week I witnessed a smaller version of a court scene in prison (inmates who commit offences in prison are brought before a ‘mini court’ and charged, either to be put in isolation, caned or to have their sentences lengthened) In the same way, God judges all of us. He is a just and holy God. Yet, unlike other judges, in His love, mercy and compassion towards us, He steps down from where He is and subjects Himself to the punishment for our ‘crime’ - by sending His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins. So in this way, He has ‘paid’ for our sins and we are free. “So now there is not more condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death.” However, in the words of Paul again, “Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more kindness and forgiveness? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?” Many of these prisoners have come in and out of prison for most of their entire lives, like many of us, who try to obey God’s law or not to sin but fall into sin again and again and again… Even the apostle Paul struggled with sin, these are the words from him: “It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin?” I believe Paul’s words echos the feelings of these ‘life-long criminals’. They insist they will change when they leave prison but before they know it they are back in again. Guess it’s the same for most of us… we can’t change our lives of sin on our own…
3) I’ve personally come across 2 ex-prisoners who came to know God in prison and whose lives have been completely turned around. It’s simply amazing and it couldn’t have been possible on their own if not for God’s grace in their lives and their faith in Him. Like these prisoners, I believe God has opened the ‘prison doors’ for every one of us because He has paid the penalty for us, and it’s only a matter of whether we choose to step out of the prison doors. “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the scriptures tell us, ‘Anyone who believes in him will not be disappointed. Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They all have the same Lord, who generously gives his riches to all who ask for them. For ‘Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Yup. That brings me to the end of my sharing, I pray that if you ‘tahaned’ this long blog He would speak to you in His own special way. As for me, I’ve chosen to walk out of that prison door of mine without looking back. It’s difficult, but He’s teaching me day by day with His grace. I pray you’ll walk out of that door of yours too, if you haven’t, that’ll you’ll be set free from whatever’s holding you down.
It’s been so long
In this wretched cage
Longing to be set free
To soar on eagle’s wings
Then one day
My Saviour came along
And opened the door
Afraid I was
Of the outside world
Accustomed to my life of misery
But He reached in
And I took His hand
To live the life I was created to live
For my Saviour, Lord and Friend.
1) We’re all prisoners - of sin. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Like the prisoners who deny their crime or minimize it, some of us are ignorant of the sin in our lives or choose to deny them, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are in prison (no matter how many times they assert they did not commit the crime or it’s not their fault or blame it on others), we are all trapped by sin’s power and hold over us, no matter how much good we have done or we say we do. Breaking the law has its consequences – you go to prison. In the same way, breaking God’s law has its consequences. “For the wages of sin is death…” In the words of the apostle Paul in Romans, “Well then, am I suggesting that the law of God is evil? (because it condemns us) Of course not! The law is not sinful but it was the law that showed me my sin. I would never know that coveting it wrong if the law had not said, ‘do not covet.’… So the good law, which was supposed to show me the way of life, instead gave me the death penalty. Sin used what was good to bring about my condemnation. So we can see now how terrible sin really is. It uses God’s good commandment for its own evil purposes.” Many of these prisoners commit crime because they are defiant to the law and chose to rebel. Others, simply ignorant to the law, didn’t realize they were doing something wrong (e.g. taking drugs) till they were caught. The same applies to most of us…
2) This week I witnessed a smaller version of a court scene in prison (inmates who commit offences in prison are brought before a ‘mini court’ and charged, either to be put in isolation, caned or to have their sentences lengthened) In the same way, God judges all of us. He is a just and holy God. Yet, unlike other judges, in His love, mercy and compassion towards us, He steps down from where He is and subjects Himself to the punishment for our ‘crime’ - by sending His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins. So in this way, He has ‘paid’ for our sins and we are free. “So now there is not more condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death.” However, in the words of Paul again, “Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more kindness and forgiveness? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?” Many of these prisoners have come in and out of prison for most of their entire lives, like many of us, who try to obey God’s law or not to sin but fall into sin again and again and again… Even the apostle Paul struggled with sin, these are the words from him: “It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin?” I believe Paul’s words echos the feelings of these ‘life-long criminals’. They insist they will change when they leave prison but before they know it they are back in again. Guess it’s the same for most of us… we can’t change our lives of sin on our own…
3) I’ve personally come across 2 ex-prisoners who came to know God in prison and whose lives have been completely turned around. It’s simply amazing and it couldn’t have been possible on their own if not for God’s grace in their lives and their faith in Him. Like these prisoners, I believe God has opened the ‘prison doors’ for every one of us because He has paid the penalty for us, and it’s only a matter of whether we choose to step out of the prison doors. “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the scriptures tell us, ‘Anyone who believes in him will not be disappointed. Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They all have the same Lord, who generously gives his riches to all who ask for them. For ‘Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Yup. That brings me to the end of my sharing, I pray that if you ‘tahaned’ this long blog He would speak to you in His own special way. As for me, I’ve chosen to walk out of that prison door of mine without looking back. It’s difficult, but He’s teaching me day by day with His grace. I pray you’ll walk out of that door of yours too, if you haven’t, that’ll you’ll be set free from whatever’s holding you down.
It’s been so long
In this wretched cage
Longing to be set free
To soar on eagle’s wings
Then one day
My Saviour came along
And opened the door
Afraid I was
Of the outside world
Accustomed to my life of misery
But He reached in
And I took His hand
To live the life I was created to live
For my Saviour, Lord and Friend.
Last day of work!!!
Woohoo! It’s the end of my month’s attachment at prisons, seems just like yesterday I was hoping it would end soon, so I can relax and do some other stuff for the rest of my hols before school starts again… in about a months time =/ Time really flies…
This week has been the most tiring, yet most fulfilling I’d say. Did operational (ground) work in Changi Prison itself (unlike the past 3 weeks where I’ve been attached to the more admin and planning side of prisons), this time I was really interacting with the prison officers and inmates on a daily basis. Was quite uncomfortable and wary on the first day, but slowly got used to the environment and mingling around with them. By today, I mustered up enough courage and confidence to speak to a few of them on my own initiative. Thank God for the officer in charge of me. She’s a prison scholar who studied psych in NUS. Within 2 years and she’s in charge of 10 prison officers and about 350 inmates! Pretty amazing huh. Learnt quite a lot from her. Also interviewed an inmate who’s being released soon. He was meek and polite. He told me he underwent Christian counseling in prison and he intends to find a church to go to when he is released. He was a Buddhist when he came in. But not so many inmates are like him. Many of them have come in and out of prisons for umpteen times, and it’s common for them to live a whole life of crime.
This week has been the most tiring, yet most fulfilling I’d say. Did operational (ground) work in Changi Prison itself (unlike the past 3 weeks where I’ve been attached to the more admin and planning side of prisons), this time I was really interacting with the prison officers and inmates on a daily basis. Was quite uncomfortable and wary on the first day, but slowly got used to the environment and mingling around with them. By today, I mustered up enough courage and confidence to speak to a few of them on my own initiative. Thank God for the officer in charge of me. She’s a prison scholar who studied psych in NUS. Within 2 years and she’s in charge of 10 prison officers and about 350 inmates! Pretty amazing huh. Learnt quite a lot from her. Also interviewed an inmate who’s being released soon. He was meek and polite. He told me he underwent Christian counseling in prison and he intends to find a church to go to when he is released. He was a Buddhist when he came in. But not so many inmates are like him. Many of them have come in and out of prisons for umpteen times, and it’s common for them to live a whole life of crime.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
National Day ramblings
It's been sometime since i've last updated, been both busy and tired from work and other stuff. Not used to work life yet i guess, appreciate school more when i start to work. Was at programmes branch last week, sat in the office most of the time. Realise how restless i get at a desk, i can't sit for more than an hour in front of the comp! But still learnt a different set of things there - how people work, the work environment and culture, amongst the many personal experiences some of the officers there shared with me. Thank God for these people He put there :) Also managed to visit another prison (Queenstown Remand Prison) which is one of the older prisons so was till quite glommy and run down as compared to the new Changi Prison Complex (recently opened last year).
Well, this week is my final week! The most exciting one as well cos i'll be stationed inside the prison for the whole working day, seeing how a 'housing unit' (each housing unit houses about 250 inmates) is run daily and the inmates' lives there... First day and it's been an eye-opener already. So many things i never knew, so many misconceptions changed (I can't specify here cos some of it i'm not supposed to say or i could be charged and may be put in prison myself! heh) But i've definitely become less afraid and wary of being aound the inmates and can walk around without fearing for my life all the time. Some of them are actually quite nice people! Probably nicer than people out there. That's the truth. oh wells. It's a doggy-eat-dog world out there. Sometimes i feel the prison protects these inmates from the reality of the world so much that when they come out they can't adjust to it that they commit crimes again. It's a lifestyle for some of time (coming in and out of prisons for their whole life...) it's quite sad really.
Thank God my officer in charge of me wasn't on duty today so i got the day off! =) Wasn't a typical National Day (where i watch the parade on tv or go somewhere with my mom or friends to join in the National Day celebrations). Played floorball with church friends then had dinner at church rooftop where we caught a glimpse (a few sparks) of the fireworks display. heh.
Yup, hope you guys had a great National Day (i.e. holiday) however you spent it :)
Well, this week is my final week! The most exciting one as well cos i'll be stationed inside the prison for the whole working day, seeing how a 'housing unit' (each housing unit houses about 250 inmates) is run daily and the inmates' lives there... First day and it's been an eye-opener already. So many things i never knew, so many misconceptions changed (I can't specify here cos some of it i'm not supposed to say or i could be charged and may be put in prison myself! heh) But i've definitely become less afraid and wary of being aound the inmates and can walk around without fearing for my life all the time. Some of them are actually quite nice people! Probably nicer than people out there. That's the truth. oh wells. It's a doggy-eat-dog world out there. Sometimes i feel the prison protects these inmates from the reality of the world so much that when they come out they can't adjust to it that they commit crimes again. It's a lifestyle for some of time (coming in and out of prisons for their whole life...) it's quite sad really.
Thank God my officer in charge of me wasn't on duty today so i got the day off! =) Wasn't a typical National Day (where i watch the parade on tv or go somewhere with my mom or friends to join in the National Day celebrations). Played floorball with church friends then had dinner at church rooftop where we caught a glimpse (a few sparks) of the fireworks display. heh.
Yup, hope you guys had a great National Day (i.e. holiday) however you spent it :)
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