holiday from far away... it's christmas time!

Hi all!!!

It's FINALLY the end of term for me, and the end of 2 hectic and tiring weeks of rushing deadlines and assignments. Thank God for His grace that preserved and sustained me through... Wow, it's been 3 months. Seems so fast yet so slow, cant wait till i go back in Summer (ie. June) next year! As i reflect back, on how afraid i was to leave, on how lost and confused i was in a foreign land, difficulties fitting in and making new friends, getting lost in the univeristy, blah blah blah.. i could go on but i shant bore you with the details. Now, i can actually direct ple to most places within the university, go to town and back by myself rather confidently, got a group of friends in hall as well as in class, christian groups and churches to go to... He has blessed me so :) Realise how often i only see the bad stuff that happens to me and fail to see what He has done for me.
Most of my hallmates have gone home, so hall's pretty empty =/ Now i know what they mean when they say you'll feel extra home-sick when it comes to turn and youre not the one going home. Well, but i'll be doing some travelling with my mom, uncle, aunt and cousin in Europe! First white christmas for me.

Well, however you may be spending Christmas this year, hope it'll be a meaningful and happy one, and let us not forget the reason for the season!
The choir sang this song for the christmas concert last week, basically sums up the meaning of Christmas

We were the reason
by Avalon (i think)

As little children we would dream of christmas morn
and all the gifts and toys, we knew, we'd find.
But we never realised,
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift, of our lives...

Chorus:
We were the reason that he gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
And giving of ourselves, and what, that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
Because of love, because of love....

(Chorus)

Do go listen to the song if you can, it's lovely :)
Well, i'm gonna 'disappear' for the next 3 weeks or so. So this blog is gonna be rusty for a while =/ But will blog and tell you guys abt my trip when i get back. Take care and wishing you all A VERY MERRY & BLESSED CHRISTMAS and A JOYOUS NEW YEAR!!
warmest wishes from a cold land, Pam

work, work, work...

work has made me withdrawn and anti-social. bah. =/

Song

Jeremy Camp - I Still Believe
From the album Stay

Scattered words and empty thoughts / seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before/ seems I don't know where to start
But it's now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip, washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness / I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word / even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind / with promises I still seem to bear
Even when answers slowly unwind / It's my heart I see you prepare
But it's now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip, washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness / I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word / even when I don't see, I still believe

The only place I can go is into your arms / where I throw to you my feeble prayers
In brokenness I can see that this was your will for me / Help me to know you are near

I still believe in your faithfulness / I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word / even when I don't see, I still believe

Reason for the Season

It's been one really long and tiring week, going for choir practices... skit rehearsals... rushing an essay, studying for an exam. But thank God for sustaining me through it all. Christmas concert was fantastic today. About 200 or more ple turned up, and despite our inadequacies, unpolished skit and unpreparedness (we only did a full dress rehearsal an hour before the actual performance!), God's grace was sufficient for us, and everything went smoothly. Well, at least we felt that God was in control and His message was put across to the people. I was so stressed and overwhelmed with backstage stuff (cos i was in charge of backstage and basically everything was so messed up and disorganized...) many times I just wanted to heck care everything, but i was encouraged by how the people involved sought strength from and TOTALLY relied on Him. (Groups of people were praying backstage simultaneously when the concert was going on!) I was really touched and glad. I realise how much I rely on my own strength rather than coming to Him. Ive got lots to learn... Well, all glory to God! Pray that the seed might be planted in the hearts of all who came.

Oh, i realise how fun choir can be (: Really gonna miss all those arduous choir practices where we sometimes had to stand for 2 hours in one stretch, sang till our throats hurt. The only sad thing was that i couldnt really put my all into the choir today cos i was busy with backstage, but i guess the process is really more impt than the goal itself. I've more confidence singing now (: Whee. Well, back to reality now, one more week before end of term, lots of deadlines to meet, many of which i havent started on... pushed back work cos of the concert. Pray i'll have strength and focus to do them, as well as to serve Him daily despite all this business.

God bless and keep you all, hope youve had a good weekend and have a blessed week ahead!
Cheers from Notts, Pam

healing or contentment?

Something on my heart to share...

Every morning when i wake up i get this heavyness in my head that stays throughout the day, till i fall asleep, and then when i wake up again it's still there. It's likle a nightmare happening over and over again... I tell myself to live with it and get used to it, but there's always this longing for it to go away, for healing to occur.. Yet i dont have such a level of faith. It's the feeling you get when you try and try and fail and fail again, till youve come to that point where you dont see the point in trying again. Yet there are stories of perseverance that pays off, like the Bible story of the widow in the court who begged so hard that the judge finally gave in to her request. Yet i know that sometimes God allows us to go through strange, incomprehensible trials that work together for His purpose, and that i shd rejoice in suffering for it produces perseverance and patience. And in His time i will be healed. Then again, we dont receive cos we dont ask... But there has to be contentment. Sigh. As you can already figure it out, i'm really confused and tired fighting this mental battle daily.

BUT I will choose to trust in Him and His loving kindness. I will look back and say that He has been faithful to me, that i am where i am now because of Him alone. It is this weakness in me that i have no choice but to depend on Him. It is the needy, the sick, the weak whom Jesus has come to save and seek. Not the strong. Let us take comfort in that.

In all our inadequacies, He understands.
I think i know now what to do. To pray for healing, that if it is His will this thorn in my flesh shall be taken sway from me. But also to submit to His will, to trust in His perfect will and timing. And in His time.... i will see the complete picture. Amen.